The scripts for the first five episodes of the next Doctor Who series were leaked online. Apparently someone at the BBC uploaded them to a public server and Google proudly displayed the contents to the entire Internet. They realized their mistake and took them down immediately, but not before almost everyone on the Internet downloaded their own copies of these classified documents.So the future’s been written. And it looks somewhat like this:

DOCTOR: This plan will work because I’m the Doctor.
(every problem is fixed)
DALEK: We will get you next time, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Nope, lol
(TARDIS dematerializes)
DALEK: He’s probably right.

Note: That was not an excerpt from the leaked scripts, it’s from my application to write for Doctor Who.

The future looks like a badly formatted fan fiction, devoid of any actor’s charisma or the superb special effects the BBC has always been known for. Think how many actors have turned down a role because the movie looked terrible on paper, then kicked themselves for missing out on a box office hit.

Still, we can use our imagination and pretend the script is in HD and awesome. Maybe it is, but I’m guessing that no matter the scripts we won’t know for sure until Series 8 premieres August 23.

This isn’t the first time a leak like this has happened though, is it? Blu-rays of Series 7 shipped early and people were able to watch the finale before it even aired. A script for one of Neil Gaiman’s episodes was left in the backseat of a taxi. Even the entire pilot for New Who, “Rose,” was leaked online before it aired, video and all. Expect leaks to continue until England is saved by a renegade Time Lord calling himself The Plumber.

It’s too bad we can’t just as easily find leaks of the Missing Episodes of Doctor Who. I’m talking about the episodes in the 60’s that were thrown away, because what are the odds that a type of recorded video will be invented and distributed or that they’ll want to play the episodes again as reruns.

“What’s a rerun?” – BBC, c. 1963-1969

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